Cruel Truth about Love
Never did I have think about being detached to my parents in such a short time, when all things are going smooth and quite well by normal standard.
However, when I stand by on the other side of the globe, hearing the quarrelling thousands miles away, even it’s a sunny Saturday, all the days have become grey.
This time, they did not have the chance to blow my mind, I clicked on the close button and quit Wechat as soon as possible, my dad might be experiencing one of the most challenging transition in his lifehood.
The big year for him has turned my mom into a part-time worker, with much more freedom in the name time for personal use.
The truth, however, I saw is exactly the opposite. She does have an increasing amount of time as the Mom-and-Papa ‘s store has shut down, but the time allocated for herself is so limited that I don’t even know how she can balance the inner self both emotionally and intellectually.
As my dad is someone who just have no idea on how “the way of the world” works, my mom has to take on the role as the public relationship agent for him, and for the whole family.
Often times, in some occasion when my dad need to schemooze alone, confilcts are generated. The “Mianzi” maintained by my mom is exhausted easily by my dad.
The ineffective communication and the unwillingness to reveal some rules or social norms frequently lead them to a within-family arguments.
Culturally speaking, this kind of overwhelmed lifestyle mostly come from the dominant power of father in Asian society.
It all starts with boredom.
In China, I cannot imagine how many men are still soaking in the illusion of traditional family expectation and roles arrangement,the burdensome housekeeping and babysitting responsibilities are not the only causes that frustrate women, moreover, I should say, fatigue resulted from the emotional labor they devoted and inability to make any changes in the power dynamics structure.
But, I have to be frank, typical idea that the boredom comes from too much freetime available, in fact，things are not that simple as it was talked about.
Loneliness in Collectivism
It reminds of the death of Avicii, who was a famous Nodiac music star. It happened on his trip to Oman, who killed himself when everyone else thinks that’s his highlighted moment in his life.
All his notes were in happy mode.
These who are close to him are even more surprised than the fans.
I hate the labelling, it attaches atigma, ignores the heterogenity of the individual and often is the source of bias.
A little happiness
A little happiness is originated from the American literature while introduced to East Asia by Japanese Novelist Murakami Haruki, to denote the tender moments in life which shall be recognized and cherished.
A little bit sweet or kind from people can make me feel blessed and grateful for the whole day.
Sometimes, it is in the second culture do we find ourselves, who we are and why we try so hard: to heal a wound in the childhood, to earn the sense of belonging, or what’s more, to gain all the needs which satisfy themselves.
It is the tiny kind that makes the life looks better than it is.
We are normal people, normal to live and normal to die, always have no say for most of the time.
Bosses buy our time by using their power and money, we nod our head to earn a living. The reverse of attitudes and behaviors are also a crucial reason why we feel quite lonely in these days, we are given the chance to say No, but based on the optimization strategy, keeping quiet is always a better choice.
Egregious things never takes a dominant role in life, for individuals fall within the three-sigma range, what affect them most is how they treat their normal life, the working time and spare time, their food and sleep, also a tiny bit risky event may cross over a while in their life-course, maybe.
Will loneliness lead to more loneliness? Yes, just the same as “matthew effect”. Rich people always get richer and the poor tends to stay in the lower stack of the society and sometimes siginificant event will drag them into the abyss.
To be fair, by using a psychoanalysis for myself, I am the one who would priortize emotional safety over social opportunity. Like a lollipop, if it looks too fancy, then I would be too eager to want it so that I abandoned it.
In this consumer society, what cannot be bought?
There are still many stuff, faith, love, trust and the willingness to make changes.
You can ignore the existence of these invisible concepts, while credit is consist of trust, marriage is made from love and material exchange, and the urge to step out of the comfort zone contributes to the progress around the world.
